The Point of Living

I love hiking to the top of the highest mountain when the wildflowers are blooming and feeling like they grew just for me. I love watching the birds in our backyard. I love to sit outside on chilly nights and watch the fire, to get lost in the magnificent wonder of it's power. I love water, streams, lakes, rivers, waterfalls. I love running in the rain. I love finding beauty in old barns, windmills, trees. I love going farther than I thought I could go, the feeling of strength and of pushing my own limits. I love when Wes is creating something, love watching him delight in simply existing. I love how he is wise beyond his years and how I can learn from him. I love my grandparents and the values they've lived by, the example they've set. I love my family. I love God.

This excerpt from "Waking the Dead' by John Eldredge about sums it up for me.

"Everything you love is what makes a life worth living. Take a moment, set down the book, and make a list of all the things you love. Don’t edit yourself; don’t worry about prioritizing or anything of that sort. Simply think of all the things you love. Whether it’s the people in your life or the things that bring you joy or the places that are dear to you or your God, you could not love them if you did not have a heart. Loving requires a heart alive and awake and free. A life filled with loving is a life=2
0most like the one that God lives, which is life as it was meant to be (Eph. 5:1–2).

Of all the things that are required of us in this life, which is the most important? What is the real point of our existence? Jesus was confronted with the question point-blank one day, and he boiled it all down to two things: loving God and loving others. Do this, he said, and you will find the purpose of your life. Everything else will fall into place. Somewhere down inside we know it’s true; we know love is the point. We know if we could truly love, and be loved, and never lose love, we would finally be happy. And is it even possible to love without your heart? "

What a woman can be, she must be

I am leaving for Montana in less than a week and I am already 95% into vacation mode. This means I am having a tough time focusing on work, obligations, responsibilities or anything else that requires my immediate attention. I already bawk at doing ANY of the things I am required or expected to do. Imagine just how accommodating I am right now. RIGHT!

I must say, the one thing I can stay pretty consistently dedicated to is staying active. I definitely am passionate about kicking my own rear. There was the 10K trail run that did a good job of doing just that. Imagine running rocky, narrow wooded trails with 412 other crazies, in what felt like 99.999% ALL hills in that 98 degree deathening humidity we were blessed with a few weeks back.

Well, I did it and it was hard as heck and I never sweat so much in my life. I wanted to throw in the towel and jump in the river at mile 2. But I kept on.

Looking back,  I loved every second of it. And out of those 412 other crazy people? I came in 106th. :)

Vacation couldn't come at a better time for me. Work has felt just plain old redundant lately. Change of scenery is much needed. I believe it's human nature to have a desire - an out and out NEED for something new and aesthetically pleasing to bring us contentment. I am open to absorbing all that this world has to offer - - and understanding what it is that I have to offer the world.

The way Maslow expresses it"What a man can be, he must be". And for me, by pushing myself past my own limits and fears, that is when I feel the most alive.

What's next, I ask myself. Anything you want, I say. Go do it.

The Don

Who IS that handsome fella, you ask?

Why, that's my dad.

As I watch the course of my life and the lives of others around me unfold, I find myself reflecting on how much I really love him.

I have a close friend who has been standing by her father's side as he's fighting a long and difficult battle with cancer. I have no experience of the type of heartache that must be felt in situations like that. I can only know what it feels like to love someone so much you never want to see them hurt. 

Last month, I heard news of singer Steven Curtis Chapman losing one of his beautiful daughters in a tragic accident. I watched a memorial video of this father and daughter, washing dishes together as he played his guitar, singing a silly song with his giggling daughter, the love between them so simple and precious. I think of how much he must have loved her, how much he would have done anything to protect her. Because that's just what fathers do.

That video hit a chord with me as I remember similar times with my own dad, strumming his guitar to sing me to sleep at night. He only knew a few old folk songs, lyrics sometimes forgotten, chorus repeated again and again. It didn't matter to me what the song, he could sing the same words over and over again if it meant he would keep singing to me.

He still owns that old guitar, the years of playing worn into its grains. The wood may be faded but my memories are not.

At this time in my life, as a single, 30 year old woman, I've grown accustomed to being very independent, handling things as best I am capable on my own. While not always easy, I take pride in the fact that it's made me into the person I am. But that place could never have been arrived at entirely without the unconscious knowledge of my parent's support. Of my father's silent dedication to always being there for his family.

A father's love - like a beacon on a wide open sea, standing steadfast. We can find comfort in its constance, we can rely on the strength of its vessel to safely lead us on our way, knowing that even as we move forward, there it will always remain, faithfully.

one can only hope

Sometimes I am left feeling like I am completely and totally OUT. OF. CONTROL.

Now I don't mean out of control, coo coo crazy. I mean having absolutely no control over the turns my life will take. None whatsoever. For as much as we try to plan and calculate the outcome or mark our calendar, it is all completely out of our hands. And all that there is left to do is hope.

Hope, redeeming hope. What does that mean, really?

Hope

1. The feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best

2. A person or thing in which expectations are centered

3. To look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence

4. To believe, desire, or trust

Why does it seem that to have hope it implies also having a certain amount of despair? Doesn't having hope equate having perseverance, to believe that a better or positive outcome is possible even when there is some evidence to the contrary?

I believe strongly in the concept of free will. When faced with uncertainties, its important to pray, yes. But it's just as important to continue hoping, dreaming and desiring. Never giving up the want.

Hope is what keeps you going, despite all the odds stacked against you. It's the difference between losing the struggles and beating them. It's what separates the 'can't happens' from the 'quite possibly coulds'. 

It's being aware of a spiritual truth without an inkling of a doubt.

When I don't know my ups from downs, God is always there to point me in the right direction. Even if that means the direction I had planned suddenly changes course without warning. If I keep my eyes on Him, I can know I'm right where I'm supposed to be. Through every turn, whether good or bad, the one and only constant in my life has been Jesus. 

And with that understanding, I have finally come to a place where it's not so tough being out of control.

Let your life speak

simple things

I love these flowers. They remind me of childhood. I remember being a little girl on my daily exploration of the backyard and coming across these. They reminded me, and still do, of a elegant, old lady with her delicate, pink hairdo swaying in the breeze. I only wish I knew what they are called. Google was unhelpful. I thought for sure 'pink hairdo flowers' would find my answer.

I feel like this one determined lilac flower bloomed it's hello especially for me.

Family Ties

"Other things may change us but we start
and end with the family" 

- Anthony Brandt

"Sisters are different flowers
from the same garden"

~ Author Unknown